tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post3456207308862198367..comments2024-02-11T16:17:56.310-05:00Comments on Karma Calling: Bully Me NotSavanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781198953037866788noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-88019663842213877622008-09-09T15:03:00.000-04:002008-09-09T15:03:00.000-04:00This is a topic close to my heart and felt good to...This is a topic close to my heart and felt good to read your post as you have written it so well..<BR/><BR/>I have a 3 year old boy who is a shy and gentle kid..of course not at home! In a way we used to think it was good he was well behaved outside. But now that he has started school, i keep worrying if he will get bullied and whether he will even react.<BR/><BR/>In the earlier instances, we Anuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16999740017294417771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-1695337835165214992008-09-04T14:28:00.000-04:002008-09-04T14:28:00.000-04:00That may be - but you can't change sides now Dotti...That may be - but you can't change sides now Dottie :P You agreed he is a gentle kid. Even gentle kids can behave badly, right? But from what I saw, he was not even disruptive. No running around, no yelling. Yes I saw he brought that bangle he brought to you that he had pulled off some shelf, but at least he brought it to you and didn't sneak away with it. You have look at the kids that we Cee Kayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04337348099202456358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-67604125960479378362008-09-04T13:58:00.000-04:002008-09-04T13:58:00.000-04:00ananva: At three years of age, yes.. I think there...ananva: At three years of age, yes.. I think there is no ahrm in stepping in.<BR/><BR/>anon: thanks for pointing me to metrodad's post. It resolved any dount I ever had :)<BR/><BR/>k3: yup, eventually.. until then, what are we to do??<BR/><BR/>neera: you know, I think chip does have tattling tendencies. And at some point, they need to fight their own battles. I can't and won't fish for him. I Savanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13781198953037866788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-90774996128737731162008-09-04T04:42:00.000-04:002008-09-04T04:42:00.000-04:00Dottie - completely with the Big Geek on this. I'd...Dottie - completely with the Big Geek on this. I'd at any point in time teach Mira to get back to the bully than take all the crap silently. I agree - the world is not gentle at all. And yes, congrats on the award - you deserve every bit of it :-)Mira's momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12144201583235548117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-68354684122856886332008-09-04T02:51:00.000-04:002008-09-04T02:51:00.000-04:00Dottie - I relate to this - you know how KB is - g...Dottie - I relate to this - you know how KB is - gentle types. He is changing a little from having to deal with his sister for competition - still he doesn't hurt people. I don't want him to ever hit any one but I don't know what I would do if I saw him get beaten up - he needs to know it's OK to defend himself. So in that sense I think BG is right - if there is no one around to defend him he noonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03844071708334559013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-30367167724215066392008-09-03T13:07:00.000-04:002008-09-03T13:07:00.000-04:00Cannot see my brat being bullied. In fact, I worry...Cannot see my brat being bullied. In fact, I worry about him becoming a bully but early reports from school suggest that most of his aggression comes out at home... <BR/><BR/>On Chip, I agree with BigGeek's approach. I mean Chip can ask the kid not to hit loudly enough for the other kid's parent to hear but what if the parents happens to be like the father in the first situation and is not too Rohinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11234347487003665907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-27344133120662812952008-09-03T04:31:00.000-04:002008-09-03T04:31:00.000-04:00Yes, thi is a difficult topic. My son is the same....Yes, thi is a difficult topic. My son is the same. I have witnessed how children have just snatched things away from him and all he did was stand there shocked and started crying. In many of the situations, all he needed to do was not to let them take the things away. He is still not very good in interacting with children. He rather chat with adults than play with children. Infact, that is one ofPGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03509732589537039753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-55057372377382955672008-09-02T22:30:00.000-04:002008-09-02T22:30:00.000-04:00This post hit a raw nerve and got me rethinking my...This post hit a raw nerve and got me rethinking my position on this issue. V is by nature not agressive and is always asking me what to do if someone hits/snatches/plays rough with him and I used to think like Big Geek( hit if you are provoked despite best efforts) but heres the dilemma- V goes to a montessori where violence in any form is not encouraged, no, not even to retaliate if victimised Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-88320178324268821102008-09-02T21:50:00.000-04:002008-09-02T21:50:00.000-04:00Chip is an amazing, wonderful kid and in all this ...Chip is an amazing, wonderful kid and in all this time that I've known him, I've never seen him do outrageous things.<BR/>His spirited nature is always directed at being active and running around and never at roughing others up! BIG HUGS TO HIM! <BR/><BR/>You couldn't have written about it at a better time with all the buzz about back to school.<BR/>So many things to be prepared for, "Bullys" Yet Another Mother Runnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01590619021049889904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-52030587365437526732008-09-02T01:30:00.000-04:002008-09-02T01:30:00.000-04:00my mantra is - its not okay to hit/bully but is eq...my mantra is - its not okay to hit/bully but is equally not okay to get hit/bullied. pretty simple.<BR/>hammered in super hard and also demonstrated by words and actions several times.<BR/><BR/>if my kid was being hit when i were around, i'd step right in. no confusion there.Choxboxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03741540918529448553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-52476737942784112102008-09-01T07:04:00.000-04:002008-09-01T07:04:00.000-04:00I have done away with the dont hit me, and bowed d...I have done away with the dont hit me, and bowed down to my husband's "Punch him right back" dictum. And yes, Spiderman and Batman seem to have helped.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02528271916192411200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-40976610883455754992008-09-01T06:42:00.000-04:002008-09-01T06:42:00.000-04:00Dottie - I always face this dilemma when it comes ...Dottie - I always face this dilemma when it comes to Chubbocks. He's such a gentle, sensitive type by nature and I really hate the thought of teaching him to be violent. But I realised that after years of me teaching him that violence is bad, he was winding up by being avictim himself. Have posted on this a while ago - I feel really bad that the world is such that you have to teach to protect bird's eye viewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01338332150874851183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-24183353447173556922008-08-31T21:56:00.000-04:002008-08-31T21:56:00.000-04:00Dottie, in the mere 2 hours (probably?) I met Chip...Dottie, in the mere 2 hours (probably?) I met Chip for, I saw what a gentle child he is. These incidents that you have narrated made my blood boil. Regarding the boy who punched Chip in the stomach, the next time you get together, and he hits Chip, step in. This is not a kids' fight. This is serious bullying and he (and his parents)need to realize that. I have learnt the hard way - at the cost ofCee Kayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04337348099202456358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-36026846677016707192008-08-31T16:26:00.000-04:002008-08-31T16:26:00.000-04:00Hi , First time commenting. I loved this post. My ...Hi , <BR/>First time commenting. I loved this post. My daughter is almost 3 too, and I find her to be exactly like your son. Very gentle, will never snatch, hit or bully other kids. Consequently, she gets picked on a lot.<BR/>I ws like you, quite reluctant to get involved in the matter, but eventually we've (E and I) come to a course of action. If someone bullies her, she tells them nicely - Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-64354659696177521632008-08-31T11:00:00.000-04:002008-08-31T11:00:00.000-04:00dottie, i think you and bg have taken the right at...dottie, i think you and bg have taken the right attitude with chip. i think for kids, as long as they know that hitting is ONLY okay in self-defence, that's great. and you know he's a gentle enough kid, that he wouldn't abuse it - you can rest easy that if need be he can defend himself. if it's something he can't overcome, there's always you and bg right?<BR/>my heart aches at the thought of poorMonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08097031636514238324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-64520504692239022052008-08-30T09:32:00.000-04:002008-08-30T09:32:00.000-04:00Very well said... I was in your boat too.. Cheeky ...Very well said... I was in your boat too.. Cheeky is not quite so soft.. if someone hits him he would hit back.. and I would tell him it was not OK. But when kids would push him to th limit.. some hitting despite his attempts at stopping them, some grabbing every single thing in his hand, pushing and shoving, screaming and yelling. Eventually I stopped telling him and let him give it back.. afterPreethihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10943344283863649487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-72759147052363957912008-08-29T17:46:00.000-04:002008-08-29T17:46:00.000-04:00Sometimes it is ok for us to teach our kids to hit...Sometimes it is ok for us to teach our kids to hit back as a defense mechanism. If we continue to teach them to be nice, they will end up being beaten up. This is one of the biggest reasons why I still am keeping Naren at home, for fear that he is not street smart. I have noticed that he gets beaten up by a friend's son, but the little guy does have his own way of scaring the pants off the other Shobanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12226266440155745217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-53982257651505370622008-08-29T16:32:00.001-04:002008-08-29T16:32:00.001-04:00u couldn't have brought this up at a better time.....u couldn't have brought this up at a better time...with LI'l A being in KG, I am already worrying myself sick with "how-will- he- deal-with school bullies"...i have to agree with big geek and uj feels similarly as well....physical assertiveness to some degree is not a bad idea, i think.By Deepa and Supriyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07747804542943614606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-30374799753026380292008-08-29T16:32:00.000-04:002008-08-29T16:32:00.000-04:00u couldn't have brought this up at a better time.....u couldn't have brought this up at a better time...with LI'l A being in KG, I am already worrying myself sick with "how-will- he- deal-with school bullies"...i have to agree with big geek and uj feels similarly as well....physical assertiveness to some degree is not a bad idea, i think.By Deepa and Supriyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07747804542943614606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-11182313470045290692008-08-29T16:16:00.000-04:002008-08-29T16:16:00.000-04:00My dh has told the exact same thing to our kids. T...My dh has told the exact same thing to our kids. The girls are now old enough that they dont get into fights. <BR/>My almost 4 yr old doesn't snatch or hit BUT if he is playing with something and some kid snatches it away, he HITs back. I get confused to as what to teach them.<BR/><BR/>The thing now is my almost 2 old gets his older brother to fight his battles and the 4 yr old gets his older Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-56157524054490138702008-08-29T16:09:00.000-04:002008-08-29T16:09:00.000-04:00I too have recently started agreeing with my husba...I too have recently started agreeing with my husband's attitude which is the same as Big Geek's. At times I think that step no. 2 should be to find an elder around and tell them if the child hits you the second time and step no. 3 should be the hitting back. Would that encourage tattling? What do you think?Neerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02908239217422161292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-47112412269333468752008-08-29T14:49:00.000-04:002008-08-29T14:49:00.000-04:00Aww, Dottie, it's a tough battle. I have no answer...Aww, Dottie, it's a tough battle. I have no answers yet, but I guess teaching kids good manners and telling them what to do should help a lot. <BR/><BR/>Eventually they will learn when to fight back and when to let go.K 3https://www.blogger.com/profile/17694781544928449190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-43316557403855508302008-08-29T14:30:00.000-04:002008-08-29T14:30:00.000-04:00Dotmom,I agree with BigGeek's attitude; my son is ...Dotmom,<BR/><BR/>I agree with BigGeek's attitude; my son is a gentle kid as well, and being a large boy, kept getting picked on in playgrounds and the like. We tried to teach him to speak up loudly, but at the time, he was unable to actually gather his thoughts together enough to shout or verbally restrain the other child.<BR/>Then we started him on taek-won-do. This has helped tremenduoudly in Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6448652231201875288.post-78859009530628528982008-08-29T13:49:00.000-04:002008-08-29T13:49:00.000-04:00As parents, it's always a dilemma whether to teach...As parents, it's always a dilemma whether to teach kids to defend themselves or just walk away. <BR/>We were at the park a few days back and a 3 yr old kept throwing sand on the slide that my kid (19 month old) was coming down on (inspite of being asked politely not to). So my husband pulled that kiddos hand and asked him to stop- I thought we should have just removed our daughter from there, andAnanvahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185662331082885558noreply@blogger.com