Feliz Cumpleanos, BigGeek

So, BigGeek turned, err, ok, I am not telling how many years. Let’s just say it was his birthday yesterday (happy budday, love and now en espanol, feliz cumpleanos, querido). The thing with BigGeek and birthdays is this. Two words. Low maintenance. The poor man will ask for something nice to eat and want to spend time in company of family and a few friends. It is a fairly easy birthday (or not) wish to grant. Throw in a gadget or two and the man is in budday heaven.

Which is how the day started. By receiving customary phone calls. And Chip singing Happy budday in a cute, ear splitting voice – an oxymoron only your own child is capable of executing with aplomb. Chip had also made, with not so gentle nudging from his Aie a card for his Baba. He is not big on drawing – he has inherited my genes in that regard - the only things he draws are things that look like people. But they are encoded. In squiggles and strokes and furious scratches that only a mother’s love and father’s adoration can decipher. So the card was basically, an Easter bunny cut from a catalog, stuck with blue glitter glue – for who would not like a little sparkle in their life? Inside, I drew a line for Chip to write the words Baba, but the pressure it generated for Chip was a bit much. In the end, after much hemming and hawing, he made me hold his hand and write the letters. Then he scribbled a picture of Baba with a wide grin and some hair, cut it out and pasted that alongside the lettering (for what if Baba can’t read?) with some more glittery glue.

Chip was so happy with the result, he was jealous. Of his own self for making such a fab card for baba. So from the bits and pieces of scrap left over, he fashioned another birthday card from himself, with huge globs of blue glitter glue. And made a train ticket for him to ride the train at the mall while he was at it too.

This year, BigGeek wanted pooran-polis for his birthday. Which is what he got (and het also got to grind the pooran in my very buggy Anjali food mill.) Unlimited quantities of pooran poli. And sabudana khichadi. No cake. (Chip asked BigGeek several times in the course of the day if he would like some cake, made with “special” eggs that doesn't cause an allergy.)

The gift I ordered for BigGeek did not arrive because they sent an email saying it was backordered. A fancy telescope with a motorized drive that will allow him to take pictures of nebulae and the moon and stars. And, in his own words, other “heavenly bodies”.

But that was not all. What a birthday without a little excitement? While we were talking with the ILs (mine, not his) over sykpe yesterday afternoon, Chip, who was pottering nearby, came in and told me he had a bead up his nose. I peered inside his snotty nostril and true enough a bright pink plastic bead lay wedged. I panicked. BigGeek did not. He is the man that does not panic. He has nerves of steel. He is the rock of Gibraltar. A man with derring-do. And lots of it. While I was blurting out words like “drive” and “E.R.” and “now” with as much coherence and syntactic accuracy as a pet goldfish, BigGeek leaped in the bathroom and came out flashing a tweezer. As I held Chip down, he very carefully, inserted the tweezer up Chip’s nose and extricated the bead. I don’t think I know anybody who was extricated a bead from their kid’s nose while their parent’s looked on the other side of the world in a different time zone on skpe, on their birthday? Do you? See? Told you BigGeek was one of a kind.

Anatomy of a delightful blunder

From: Dottie
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2009 3:59 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: Weekend in Feb

Can’t find deals for Feb long weekend. All ridiculously expensive. Tried Miami and Ft.Lauderdale both. Maybe March?

From: BigGeek
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2009 4:02 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: Weekend in Feb

Let’s go to Orlando, instead

From: Dottie
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2009 4:03 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: RE: Weekend in Feb

Nooooooooooooooo. It will be warmer in Miami. And we have been to Orlando once. I want to see Alligators and the Everglades. And the Keys. Don’t you?

From: BigGeek
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 2:05 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: RE: Weekend in Feb

Not really, but OK. Let me see if I can find some deals.

From: Dottie
Sent: Monday, January 26, 2009 1:05 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: RE: Weekend in Feb

Well.. any luck? It’s too late to book tickets I think.

From: Dottie
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 10:13 AM
To: BigGeek
Subject: RE: Weekend in Feb

Sigh. Let’s go in March. Days will be longer. And we will get better deals. Looked again on Expedia, Kayak, you name it. Nothing.

From: BigGeek
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 10:20 AM
To: Dottie
Subject: RE: Weekend in Feb

No, no. I want to go in Feb. Let me find something.

From: BigGeek
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:00 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Vayama

Gives me this for the Feb long weekend – not too bad… what do you think?
Fare Summary »
2 Adult 1 Child $qwert.yu USD
Taxes and Fees $224.85
Trip Insurance $32.85
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Total $XYZ USD

From: Dottie
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:10 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: RE: Vayama

Go for it.

From: BigGeek
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:23 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: I am a moron

Shall I throw a tantrum? :(

From: Dottie
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:24 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: I am a moron

What happened?????????

From: BigGeek
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:25 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: I am a moron

Boohoo boohoo
I am such a fool. I am so sad.

From: Dottie
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:34 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: I am a moron

Aie-ga! We booked for March instead of Feb. What do we do now?

From: BigGeek
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:35 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: I am a moron

I check it ten times. Everytime. I will email them and see..

From: Dottie
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:37 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: I am a moron

Awww.. there there. It happens. You know why this happened? Because Feb and Mrch have same dates on same days.

From: BigGeek
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:39 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: I am a moron

That’s no excuse though. It shows you all the days and options, and asks for confirmation :( boohoohoohoooo.. I have sent them an email, Let see what they say. I feel so terrible. :(

From: Dottie
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:50 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: I am a moron

Look into Vayama’s FAQ.. they charge $100 for change/cancellation per person + whatever fees the airline charge. Not worth it. Might as well enjoy the mistake :)

From: BigGeek
Sent: Wednesday Thursday, January 28, 2009 2:42 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: I am a moron

I suppose. I am surprised that they are still as expensive in March. I guess I am more troubled by the fact that I made a mistake than I am by the mistake itself. I have been on hold for 12 minutes. They get 2 more minutes else it is what it is.
Why don’t you put in a cheap offer on priceline for a _good_ hotel and see what you get?

From: BigGeek
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2009 2:55 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

Ok. Put in 4 or higher stars please. Or try 5 stars first.

From: Dottie
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2009 3:55 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

Did you get the hotel conformation email? Did you see it? I made a terrible mistake :( I booked for Feb 14-16 :( And..

Remember, your Priceline hotel reservation is non-refundable, non-transferable and non-changeable. If you have any questions or require further assistance, please visit our Customer Service area. You may also contact our Customer Service Department toll-free at 1-800-657-9168. Please have your priceline Request Number (xxx-xxx-xxx-xx) and the phone number you used when you placed your request (yyy-yyy-yyyy) ready when you call.
Dang dang dang. Calling them…

From: Dottie
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2009 4:07 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

Can’t get a human.

We are not eating out for 6-8 weeks until we save the $300.

From: BigGeek
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2009 4:09 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

And I am not getting any birthday gifts. For you either. Don’t be ashamed. Shit happens. Now is the time to bite it and bear it.

From: Dottie
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2009 4:10 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

Ofcourse no budday gift for me. And no anniv gift for me either. You will still get a nice budday gift.

From: BigGeek
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2009 4:12 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

No. we are in it together. For better or for worse. Remember?

From: Dottie
Sent: Monday, February 09, 2009 4:10 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

Forgot to ask you.. Did you tell Chip about the hotel thing? Because when we were driving home on Friday evening, he asked me which retsuarant we were going out to and I told him we were eating dinner at home. He asked me “Because you wasted that money on that hotel?” How the heck does HE know? Did you mention it to him?

From: BigGeek
Sent: Monday, February 09, 2009 4:10 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

Ofcourse not. I did not tell him. He must have overheard us. But did we talk about it? Maybe a couple of sentences…I don’t remember talking about it in front of him..

From: BigGeek
Sent: Tuesday, February 10, 2009 1:00 PM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

Let’s go to Miami this weekend. We have a hotel reservation anyways.

From: Dottie
Sent: Tuesday, February 10, 2009 1:10 PM
To: BigGeek
Subject: Re: Miami Hotels

Are you mad?? They will be crazy expensive. It’s valentines + long weekend.

From: Dottie
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2009 10:10 AM
To: Friend
Subject: Re: Din-din tomorrow?

No can do:( we are going to Miami :)

From: Friend
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2009 10:30 AM
To: Dottie
Subject: Re: Din-din tomorrow?

I thought you were going in March? You cancelled that?

From: Dottie
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2009 10:10 AM
To: Friend
Subject: Re: Din-din tomorrow?

No.. we are going this weekend and again in March. Long story. Tell you when we meet.

Dung, Holi and Nostalgia

It’s probably too late in the day to be asking this, but how do you celebrate Holi when its 40F outside? I have been feeling rather nostalgic since this morning. I have been hearing about my family and friends’ Holi plans for a better part of today, and I am missing it all.

I grew up in a village. Ok, I am being less than charitable. I grew up in a small town. Holi meant collecting firewood, pieces of old furniture (a rarity in those times because people never threw anything away) and dung-cakes that could be obtained from a small dairy of only a few buffaloes. It sat right next to the flour mill, which was right behind the ration shop. We would ride our bikes or walk to the dairy; which come to think of it, was just a little more than a backyard cow-shed. We would approach the cow-shed cautiously, knowing we would not be indulged. We would be ignored for several minutes until someone would come out and ask what we wanted. Dung-cakes, we would say. In a small voice. I am sure, ours was not the first demand for dung-cakes that season. Kids from several neighboring “colonies” would come asking for the same thing. Free dung-cakes were a much sought-after prize.

We would be ignored again. We would ask again. Plead, maybe. Such is the spirit when one is young. Earlier, when the dairy was new, they would give dung cakes without much fuss. As the years passed and the dairy slowly grew its feet, dung cakes became harder to come by. In the end, we stopped going there to ask. Perhaps it was we had grown older and lost our spirit. Perhaps an awkwardness of early adulthood had set in and we could no longer bring ourselves to ask shamelessly and be a nuisance. Or perhaps the dairy-owners would not part ways with dung cakes that could fetch money. Or perhaps, it was the year they told us to take fresh manure instead of dried cakes. I don’t quite remember.

But while the dung cakes could be obtained for free, we got them. Depending on our timing and our diplomatic negotiations, we could procure anywhere from 2 to 5-6 dung cakes. As soon as the prize was brought to the holi-site, other kids would leap in excitement.

I don’t know why this Holi brought these memories in sharp focus. I have been living here for almost a decade and Holi was just another festival that was let slide. Chip is growing older and I wonder what kinds of memories he is forming. He is so removed from the festivals and two parents, no matter how enthusiastic cannot be a substitute for culture and its mores. I have been struggling to convey to him, my experiences of the Holi in a small town in a third world country in the late 80s. He obviously doesn’t get it. He is not even 4 and lives a world away. Literally. To me, Holi is one of the anchor points on which my memory rests. I can still smell the acrid smoke of the fire on cool nights.

Alimentary, dear Watson

Chip is on the throne, answering his nature’s call, when he decides to call his Baba. “Baba” he says loudly. Baba ignores the calls a few times, but finally goes up to see what his spawn wants. “There is blood in my poo-poo.” Chip tells his Baba calmly. “What?? Blood? Where?” Baba peers down the pot, but his spawn has flushed all evidence of body function.
“Did you see blood in your poo-poo, Chip?” asks Baba.
“Umm, no.”
“Then how do you know there was blood in your poo-poo?”
“There was blood in my nose. I was digging it. There was blood in my snot. I ate it. The blood then went to my tummy and then it went to my poo-poo.”
“But you didn’t see it?”
“No. But it must have been there.”

The First Born

Ok. I am doing this. This has been doing rounds on facebook, so I am picking it up and doing it here. And because M4 tagged me too.

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Yup and for a while too.

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
BigGeek says yes. Ofcourse we were! We are Indians. Are you telling me its possible to have babies without being married?

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Delight. Excitement. Anxiety. Contentment.

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
Absolutely not. No matter what the results of the Down’s test said.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
Very old. 29.

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
Blood test. At the doctor’s office.

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
I got the call at work from my doctor’s office. Called BigGeek right away. And we both were speechless. Called my parents the next morning (they were living in Germany at the time) and told them just as they came out of a museum bookstore. And then called the other set of grandparents.

8. DUE DATE?
May 21, 2005.

9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
Just general all-day nausea.

10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Sweets and read meat. I would look at baby back ribs and hotdogs and salivate. Mind you I am a vegetarian and did not eat the meat despite everyone telling me otherwise. A few months ago, I met a Chinese woman at a wedding and she told me according to Chinese folk lore, if a pregnant woman’s cravings are unmet, the child is born with a birthmark on their backs. Guess where Chip has a birthmark? On this back.

11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
That the in-utero Chip treated my bladder as a 24-7 trampoline. And my commute. It was so long that I had to stop mid way at BigGeek’s office to use the restrooms there. He was the only guy to have a copy of the women’s restroom’s keys. He got teased a LOT for that. If I weren’t pregnant at the time, I would have been sympathetic.

12. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
Boy.

13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
Not really. I always thought I would be a better mom to a boy than a girl.

14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
About 20 and they stayed a long time with me.

15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
Oh, yes! I had two. One was thrown by my friends. I knew about it and it was a girls-only affair. They decorated with flowers everywhere and even made jewellery out of fresh flowers in the proper Maharastrian style. And made all my favorite food. Made me feel so special. The second one was thrown by BigGeek’s aunt in New England. That was a surprise and boy was I speechless. She had invited my uncle and aunt and cousins and friends from New England that I had not met in ages. It was very sweet of her. Just thinking of it makes me break out in a big grin.

16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
Look above.

17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
Low progesterone. They also detected a mildly elongated QT interval in my heart and was prescribed beta blocker which I did not take.

18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
In a hospital. Where else?

19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
Twelve. Contractions started around 4:00 am in the morning, Chip was out at 4:45 pm in the evening.

20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL/BIRTH CENTER?
BigGeek. At around 12:30 pm. We were all very chilled. My mom accompanies us, ofcourse.

21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
BigGeek and my mom. The OB-Gyn and two nurses.

22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
Natural.

23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
At the very last moment. The pain wasn’t bad, but I did not know how bad it could get when I started to push. So I said yes to the epidural and promptly napped for an hour.

24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
7lb 7oz.

25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ?
Exactly a week before my due date. On May 14.

26. WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION WHEN THE DOCTOR ANNOUNCED THE SEX OF THE BABY?
Well, for one, the sex of the baby was announced 5 months earlier. By a radiologist or whatever they call those doctors that look at sonograms. And we were thrilled ofcourse.

27. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST REACTION ON SEEING THE BABY?
Relieved that he was not a fish. Throughout my pregnancy I dreamt I was carrying a fish. So it was a great relief to see a bonny human baby.

28. DID YOU CRY?
Naah. The adrenalin had kicked in. I was on a high.

29. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM?
Chip, ofcourse :)

30. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY

120,253,591 Seconds and counting. Ok. He is 3 years 9 months and some days.

The Shadow Of The Wind

Summary
How do you summarize a novel that’s a mystery, a supernatural thriller, a love story, a coming-of-age story all bundled up in 500 pages? Politics, love, books, loss and life all come together in this slightly melodramatic but enthralling debut by Zafon. Set in Barcelona in 1945, just after the Civil war, the book follows the protagonist Daniel; from the day he walks with his father to the Cemetery of Forgotten Books and picks the eponymously titled book written by one Julian Carax. We follow Daniel as his life (and others’ too) is forever changed by this choice as he attempts to solve a mystery surrounding the Carax book.

What worked for me
The meta theme. A book about a book, a mystery about the mystery. The power of books, how they shape our lives. I also liked the locale. I have a thing for exotic locales. Its arm chair travel. Here I saw Barcelona so closely that when I drove to work, I thought I just needed to make a turn here and I would reach Calla Ana and sit at a café and order coffee and sponge fingers. I am also learning Spanish these days, so a novel set in Spain was bit of a thrill. The era also worked for me. Early to mid-century. The quaint customs, the strange ways. The book is rich. Like a tapestry. Plots and characters weave in and out, all giving their (flawed) versions of a story, or rather the mystery that forms the backbone of the narrative.

It’s verbose, yes and every minor character is painted in detail and I found asking myself why I was not bored by it. Perhaps it’s the tight rein that Zafon holds, never letting the words fall completely overboard (this is exactly what I thought after reading Kiran Desai’s The Inheritance of Loss, she has a tight rein there too). Why did I feel invested in these characters so much that it mattered to me which church the governess of a character attended. Perhaps it’s the language - the book is originally in Spanish and is translated by Lucia Graves, who I must say has done a terrific job of translating the lyrical, almost epic language of the book. Or perhaps it was the mystery itself and I looked for clues in the most unexpected places, asking myself, will this matter how the mystery is solved? Will the mystery be even solved?

The book is a wild roller coaster ride that will give you butterflies in your stomach, that will take you on hairpin curves and to great heights only to drop you and turn you upside down until you scream – in delight or in terror (or both) – finally coming to a stop. All the while hoping and praying the end is not disappointing. When a book takes you on a ride like this, the only thing you fear is being disappointed in the end. But the book ends on an agreeable note. And it comes to a full circle and you all know how I fall for things like that.

What did not work for me
The mystery is not the best mystery in the world. I solved most of it. What also did not quite work for me were the supernatural horror elements in the book. They add to the atmosphere, yes, but they kept me awake a whole night. I don’t like horror. I don’t like to be scared (and yes, I scare easy).

Hot or drop
Totally hot. This is Hitchcock on steroids. It’s an unputdownable book. Don’t miss this one. Also, a question -if you were to pick a book that would change your life in a literal, day-to-day events way, which one would it be?