A Summer Affair

Balmy Saturday morning. Post brunch. You are sitting out on the deck, a tall glass of chilled home made iced tea sweating in your hand. The flowers are in bloom, the birds nipping at the seed. Butterflies flitter about. You let out a contended sigh and pick the book you are reading. And if you aren’t reading A Summer Affair by Erin Hilderbrand, you should. Even if mile-high gas prices have put a damper on your beach vacation this year and the patio is your vacation destination, don’t fear. Through this book you will escape. From your worries, from the predictability of your routine to where else, but Nantucket.

When I picked the book it looked promising. I was all up for a harlequin romance. The book was that, but it was much more real in terms of the characters’ motivations. The story is about a glass artist and a mother of four, Claire Danner Crispin. It about the affair that she carries on while co-chairing a gala for a non-profit organization. It takes us through her present life and past, through storylines than weave in and out of Claire’s emotions. From a rocker ex-boyfriend Max West who has to be roped to perform at the gala, to her best friend and sister-in-law Siobhan, to her husband and kids and their lives and her come back to the abandoned glass blowing. It’s a good chick-lit. I was happy to know about glass blowing. I have been in a hot shop before and have seen glass blowers and it’s pretty amazing. It also offers a view of what really goes on in these black-tie type gala events. Hilderbrand has done some considerable research about politics and dynamics of non profit soirees and it was just very amusing and interesting to get a glimpse of that world.

All in all, a fun, entertaining read. For the beach or when you are sitting by the pool when you take your 3-yr old swimming (ok wading) or on those balmy Saturday mornings. You will escape in to an idyllic world in a beach community, right in your own backyard.

More Than it Hurts You

I just finished reading this book. Let me say this before anything else. The book reads like a script. Every detail carefully visualized. The characters all given 3-d lives, beyond the current storyline. I think it will make a great movie.

When I started reading More than It Hurts You, I thought it would be like an episode of House. A medical thriller. It is that on a certain level, for it does revolve around Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome, but upon reading it, I thought it was more about the undercurrents of a relationship. Husband-Wife, Parent-Child, Doctor-Patient, Lawyer-Client. Relationship when a certain trust between the two parties is implied and expected. Through intricate description of characters and their motives, these undercurrents shape the novel as they do shape our relationships and our world views in real life. It is a compelling read, although I must admit at times I was overwhelmed with the exhaustive imagery.

The story is about three main characters. Three and a half if you include baby Zack, whose life it most at stake. Josh Goldin is a TV airtime salesman, is married to Dori and is the father of their baby, Zack. When Zack is admitted twice to the hospital with the same mysterious symptoms – anemia and heart attack for no apparent reason, the head of the pediatrics unit a black women named Dr.Darlene Stokes starts to suspect something. Child Protective Services get involved and a public debate ensues – where no one is spared. The tale is disturbing at times and Strauss does a good job in exposing the nuances of the myriad relationships he examines in the course of narrating this tale. I have to confess that Dori was on my mind long after I finished reading the book. Do add it to your reading list.

The Working Woman's Pregnancy Book

This is one realistic book. That was my first impression upon reading it. Written by Dr.Marjorie Greenfield, The Working Woman’s Pregnancy Book, combines the development of your pregnancy with compelling advice and emotional support. But most importantly, it acknowledges the realities of a pregnant working woman. When to tell you boss you are pregnant, how to handle a change in workplace dynamics, whether to travel or not, how to deal with fatigue and deadlines. Not only does Dr.Greenfield draw from her own experience as a working woman, a mother and Ob-Gyn, but she draws from the experiences of many women as well. The experiences, thoughts and situations these working women went through are interspersed as small comments through out the book – at every stage of pregnancy.

From pre-school teachers, scientists, violinists, policewomen, pilots, lawyers, even a state governor – they all have stories about their own pregnancies as working women to share. Some positive, some not so, but all of them completely in tune with the realities of working women. Yes, it is likely that your boss is going to feel you are choosing family over your job, yes you might get sidelined for important projects, and yes, you might get treated differently now that you are pregnant. A small snippet about a police woman wondering where to position a gun holster brought a smile to my face and a sense of pride too. That she was unwilling to quit her job, instead choosing to take extra training to qualify for a gun she could put in an ankle holster – the only place she could put a gun in her third trimester –is one amazing story.

The book is full of sound advice and the best part was a section dedicated to labor and delivery approaches. It is extremely balanced and non-judgmental. She suggests you select a provider based on your philosophies. This will save a lot of miscommunication later on when you want a natural birth and she is all hi-tech or the other way round. Another thing I found useful is some surprising facts about the FMLA. So, if you are planning on delivering in the USA, I would urge you to look closely at FMLA, I did not know a lot of things about it.

The book is an easy read. Helpful illustrations and sound advice. Not amplifying the risks and problems a pregnancy can run into, but acknowledging them matter-of-factly. But most importantly, Dr.Greenfield writes as an equal. She, is one of the few authors who do regard their target readers as informed and educated. Reading this book is like sitting with a knowledgeable, compassionate friend, a latte in hand, telling you how to plan for and enjoy your pregnancy and the arrival of the baby while being committed to a full time job.

Mama's Mojo

When I was pregnant, I poured over parenting books. How to put your babies in a feeding schedule, how to discipline them, how to encourage them to sleep on their own. Books that pigeon holed babies and children into neat categories and then gave advice on how to “deal” with them. Deal with them? Like they are some sort of a problem that got in our way? These books I felt, did not really acknowledge me as a parent who had feelings and instincts and did not acknowledge my child as one with a distinct and a unique personality. No, my child did not fall into Tracy Hogg’s six categories. And I thought the Ferber and the Brazelton methods bordered on child abuse.

What was missing from this advice? I asked myself. It was only later, many months later, I realized that the books had been written by nannies and pediatricians. Eminent, capable professionals. Not parents. That was the problem. You can be the world’s greatest nanny or the pediatrician, but you can’t remotely come close to becoming a parent. Parents are not only responsible for health and safety and education of their children, they are responsible in imparting values, a sense of moral code, ethics and a sense of spirituality. And I found the parenting books that I most identified with were on the ones written by parents. Like Dr.Sears and Marguerite Kelly. Who did not chastise you or brand you as a bad parent if your child did not sleep through out the night at six weeks of age. Who had been where I was right now, and they imparted parenting wisdom, not just advice.

Adding to this line of brilliant parenting wisdom is a book I read a few days ago. Mama Rock's Rules: Ten Lessons for Raising a Houseful of Successful Children. This is written by the star comedian Chris Rock’s mother, Rose Rock. She raised 10 children of her own and 17 foster children. She would know a thing or two about parenting now. Mama Rose, in a charmingly old-fashioned way, gives it to you as it is. She is not the kind who minces words. You know that kind, don’t you? And I like that. Too many too politically correct parenting books out there. Too many parenting books not quite in touch with reality. This one is refreshing.

Written in an easy conversational style, Mama Rose narrates incidents from her children’s childhood and the lessons she learnt as a mother and the strategies that worked for her. She says she wanted to raise successful children. How does she define successful children? Those that turn into kind, responsible people. Not star basketball players or actors or surgeons. Everyday people that leave behind a trail of goodness. Although the book is aimed for parents of slightly older children than the almost-three year old Chip, I enjoyed it. It’s best to dig a well way before you are thirsty, no? The Rock family was not privileged. Money was tight, the family large. Living in a neighborhood where education was not quite a priority, teenage pregnancies and drugs a norm, all 10 of Mama Rose’s kid became successful. They stayed out of trouble, had successful careers and became good responsible adults. That says for something.

So all you moms out there, read the book, it’s an easy read. Peppered with tales and snippets of this mama’s wisdom you will be smile and marvel how this woman did it all. After all, we could all use a bit of her mojo.

Cross posted on DMZ