Gender Bender #2

First the point about abortion that Kodi’s mom raised. Non-Indian citizens cannot adopt Indian children. They can get legal custody of the child, but they have to bring him/her to their country to adopt. The process is pretty convoluted compared to other countries. More here.

Rational Fool raises some important questions and I agree with RF and Usha: yes the mindset needs to be changed. But also, as RF points out, this has been deeply entrenched and is indeed an uphill task that may take many generations. But I can’t say I agree with them when they say one act of abortion is less heinous than the other. Hopefully I haven't missed what they were trying to say. If one reason (say, Down’s syndrome) is good enough, they all are. Also, I have no reason to believe that abortions in the US are skewed towards girls.

The beliefs that cause female abortions/infanticides are cultural and religious, and while throwing away gods- however misogynistic they may be (RF) -has a personal appeal; it is hardly a viable solution. And, what will fill the vacuum left behind? Economic independence might help put a distance between religious beliefs and practices, but as Noon says, the mindset seems to be independent of class. They may not practice infanticide, but yes, the bias is there. Noon, may be fifty years ago, girls in US were encouraged to be good wives and mothers, but not so anymore. There certainly wasn’t any female infanticide even when women rarely sought a life beyond their homes.

This is obviously not an easy issue. Which is precisely the reason we haven’t arrived at a solution yet. As Vidhur says, we all must do what we can. My mother and aunt both taught their maid’s kids, paid for their school, books, clothes. Battled the old crones in maids’ households and encouraged the daughters to get a job and not get married at 13. My mom and aunt let these people peep into our lives and helped them be what we were.