Night Owl or Morning Lark

I am a confirmed night owl. I like to go to bed late-ish and wake up late-ish. I have struggled with it all my life. You know the proverbs they drill in your head in school – early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise. I guess that does not apply to me. I am no man. And even if I were a man, I would probably live by this credo – early to bed, early to rise means you had no fun last night.

I am glad I wasn’t born in the 1920s or the 1910s, hell even 1960s I suppose. When women had to wake up early to fetch water, clean house and cook. I would have gone insane, waking up at 5:00 am each day. Which brings me to this weird theory I have. The reason many women were generally meaner and crueler in the last century was because they woke up so early everyday. Ask a night owl to be a morning lark and you will get a real nasty lady, let me tell ya. Been there. Done that.

I have always stayed up late at night. Mostly to read books. Even with board exams looming ahead in less than a week, I stayed up at night, not to study, but to read Gone with the wind, for the second time. There is a certain thrill in staying up at night and reading or watching TV which just isn’t there when you set the alarm for 4:00 am and wake up promptly and turn the page to Scarlett O’Hara mock fainting on the couch. It just doesn’t cut it. And there are no nice shows on TV at 4:00 am either. Everybody is trying to sell you something then. From denture cleaners to geriatric cocktail rings. Positively depressing.

For what it’s worth, I have tried to change my ways. Many, many times. Only to fail miserably. I have tried waking up early in the morning, but I have always found it hard to do so without an alarm. And who wants to wake up to a shrill buzz? Not me. I have tried the clock radio but that’s no less jarring. Even the classical station. I don’t want to wake up to a crescendo. I don’t think I want to wake up at all. Not at 5:00 am, not at 6:00 am. Seven would be okay. Seven-thirty ideal. I literally loose sleep when I have to wake up early. I wake up on the hour, every hour at night to look at the glowing, green numbers on my bedside clock.Unhappy but relieved; it’s not time to get up yet. Wash, rinse, repeat till 6:00 am.

But I also would be lying if I were to deny the splendid feeling I get once I wake up early in the morning and boot. I am so fresh. No 10 o’clock slump. No 3 o’clock slump. No tried feeling at 8:30 in the evening. But I can’t do it for more than two days. Makes me nasty, generally, even if I have better energy levels. Don’t ask me why. Perhaps, despite the increased physical energy I am stressed with the prospect of going to bed early and waking up early. I can’t quite fall asleep at 9:30 pm, except when I am jetlagged at which time I hit the sack at 7:00. Every time I come home after visiting India, I make a pact with myself, to continue my natural jetlagged stage. Go to bed at 9:00 (and DVR all my favorite shows) and wake up at 5:30. The resolution lasts as long as my jetlag does and I am back to my never-go-to-bed before 11:00 pm routine.

I don’t think I am cut out to be a morning lark. I am certain they will find an “owl” gene or a “lark” gene in all of us pretty soon. My only lament at being a night owl is this. I will never be powerful and famous. Because all powerful and famous people are always early risers. Or perhaps I will go down in history as the only famous and powerful person to be a night lark. That would be cool. Although the odds are not in my favor much.