Be Better For Me

It’s still light outside. It’s close to eight in the evening. Chip and I enter the cool, dark house, hauling grocery bags, away from the blazing mid-summer heat. “Are we going to another store today, Aie?” Chip is asking, hope bubbling on the edge of his voice. “Not today honey. It’s almost eight. Time for your bath now.” I say thickly. I leave the groceries in the lobby and go inside the study. “Are you working?” Chip asks. “No.” I reply. “I am trying to call Baba.” I dial BigGeek’s number, once again. Work and Cell. They both go to voice email. Not unexpectedly. I have been trying to reach him for a better part of two hours now. Worry creeps up to me. Unwanted thoughts gathering for a storm. I open my email and send a one-liner to BigGeek. “Call me”, it says.

I lug the groceries into the kitchen. Keep the refrigerated items in the fridge, the rest in their bags, on the counter. No energy to keep them away now. I shoo Chip upstairs and run his bath. He topples his bucket of bath toys and is soon engrossed in quiet play. I enter the bedroom and collapse on the bed. The long day, the mid-summer heat, the hormones, and my inability to get in touch with BigGeek all mutiny against me. Tears sting my eyes.

“Aie!” Chip calls out to me loudly. “What are you doing Aie?” “Just lying down.” I say, steadying my voice. He doesn’t miss the slight quiver. “Are you OK?” he yells again. “Yes, I am.” I reply. Just then, the phone rings. I pick it up. It’s BigGeek. I tell him I am not talking to him. The battery had died and he hadn’t realized it, he’s is telling me. Chip calls out again. I go inside the bathroom.
“Is that Baba?” he says pointing to the phone.
I nod. He looks at me. “Are you OK, Aie?”
“Yes.”
“Are you crying, Aie?”
“No.” I hang my face.

He bends down, trying to look at my eyes. “Are you crying, Aie?” he asks again, softly this time. I shake my head, unsure of how long this could go on. “You are crying.” He says. “Are you feeling sad?” “A little. But I’ll be better soon.” I admit, hesitatingly. “Is Baba doing silly things?” I smile a little, unsure whether to answer his question or not, but nod in the end. BigGeek is listening to all this. “Oh-oh. Aie. But you be better for me, ok, Aie? Don’t cry. Be better for me, OK? Will you be better for me?” I nod, speechless. The storm passes on and the evening continues.