Wine, Woman and Song - Part Un

If you are looking at the title and are not quite sure what to expect, read on. This is about Chip and his passions. In order. Not a day passes without Chip alluding to all three of the above mentioned..umm..things.

Wine is an absolute favorite. Although tempted, I haven’t given him a six ounce in his plastic yellow lion cup yet, but that does not deter my budding oenophile from asking for some vino. First thing in the morning. In his pajamas, rubbing his bleary, crusty eyes he announces in his Minglish. “Aie, I want wine pahijey (want).” And the games start.

DotMom: “Does Chip drink wine?”.
Chip: “Yes?.”
DotMom: “No! He doesn’t. Do you have dadhi-misha (beard and a moustache)?”
Chip: “No.”
DotMom:“Let’s drink your milk instead.”
Chip:“Wine glass madhye (in wine glass)?”.

Two hours later. Bubble Bath Time.
Chip: “Aie, Aie look” Points to his upper lip.
DotMom: “What’s that?”
Chip:”It’s dadhi-misha (beard and moustache).”
Chip has smeared the bubbles from his bath on his cheek and upper lib and is preening.
DotMom (not getting the point): Yay!!
Chip (gleefully): “Chip dadhi misha. Aie, I want wine pahijey”

Two hours later, play time.
DotMom: “Where are you Chip?”
Chip: “Ithe” (spinning himself silly on the chair in the study)
DotMom:What are you doing?
Chip: “Abhyas (studying).”
DotMom: “What Abhyas?”
Chip (now typing with one hand, phone in the other, imitating BigGeek): “Compiter abhyaas..Aie, ek beer pahijey.”
DotMom: “What did you just say? Does Chip drink beer?”
Chip: “Baba peeto (drinks)?”
DotMom: “But Chip doesn’t. You have to be as tall as Baba and you have to be 21 years old.”

A few weeks ago, when the MIL was visiting, I made some cocktails for her. Now they look like juices, so when I told Chip he could not have them, he was puzzled. It has alcohol, I explained. Beer, wine, scotch, cocktails, they all have alcohol. So he can’t drink them until he is all grown up. I said. That was a mistake in hindsight. So, now that he knows what alcohol is, being told a shrillion times, he has just skipped to the chase. He simply asks for alcohol now.

Part Deux and Part Trois follow.