Friday, September 12, 2008

The Test

More than a quarter of a century ago, in a smallish classroom sat a girl of about five. She sat on the last bench, next to this plump, pasty faced girl who was her best friend for the sole reason they both liked blue and bonded over this essential aspect of their lives. Two months later, the friendship fell through because the pasty faced girl declared her favorite color to be green which was unacceptable. Green? Please. But for the first quarter of the year they were swore to be best friends forever.

So, on this particular day, the girls were writing a test. Community Living. The girl always though the subject really made no sense. The textbook told to use water carefully but there was never enough water to go around, so wastage was not really an issue. The book told her to eat pulses, but she ate them already and liked them.

The girl really had no idea what the test was all about. It was the first test she had ever given and had no clue what one was supposed to do. As the bell sounded, the teacher started handing out the question paper glancing at her watch. The teacher was reputed to be really nasty. She had once hurled a wooden blackboard duster at a student when she had lost her temper. Thankfully the duster had missed the student’s head, instead hitting the white-washed wall behind him.

The girl got her paper and started to read the first question. “Cross out the wrong words.” She read. Whatever that meant. The words made no sense. How was she to determine the wrong words? She thought about it for a long time. When the teacher walked past her bench, she timidly asked what the question meant. The teacher glared at her and told her to stop talking during an exam and to just write her answers. The girl thought some more. Again when the teacher walked past her, she repeated the question. “I don’t know.” replied the teacher brusquely and then threatened a rap on her knuckles if she asked again. Once the teacher’s back had turned, the girl turned to her best friend who sat besides her. “What does cross out the wrong words mean?” she whispered in desperation. Her best friend was smarter than her. “I think it means you just strike out the words you don’t like.” She whispered back. Words she didn’t like? How was she to determine that? It was getting complicated by the minute.

She chewed the back of her pencil wondering which words she didn’t like. She liked them all. What was there to not like about these words? She could read them all, even if they made no sense. But she had to pick and cross out the wrong words. She peeped at what her best friend was doing. The friend seemed to know which words she didn’t like. She was crossing some, leaving others out. The girl, had to decide fast. But she was so peeved with all this test business. She decided she did not like a single word from the test paper. Hell, she didn’t even like the test. Her chewed out pencil leapt into action and she unfalteringly crossed out every word in the test paper. Every damn, single word. And then she sat with a smug smile on her face. That would teach them, she thought to herself, realizing she mostly meant the nasty teacher who was glancing at her watch.

Her best friend peered at what the girl had done and looked at her own paper realizing that the girl had crossed out more words than she had. The friend panicked. The girl was going to get better marks because she crossed out more words. In a hurry she started placing neat ‘X’ marks on every word, but the teacher was already collecting the papers and before she could finish, the papers were all collected and bundled up.

Epilogue: The girl scored a zero on the test. The best friend scored 1- She miraculously had got one of the “cross out the wrong words question” correct.

And now here is a quiz question. Can you tell who was the girl and who was the best friend? Correct answer will be awarded $5*.

*Terms and Conditions apply. The award will be given to correct answers by respondents aged 500 or older. Valid only in the continental 48 states. Neighbors, blog-pals, family and friends will be excluded from the award.

20 comments:

Anu said...

Hmm..I don't think i am 500 yet though i do feel like one sometimes :) does that count? and do i get half of $5 if i get one answer right ;)

OK, my guess is the best friend is you!!

~nm said...

Haha! What a hulaupid

incident! I think the girl was you

Preethi said...

The girl was you.. and I am 521!!

Ananva said...

I am a born again whatever- do I count my age twice?

Funny post nevertheless!! I love such anecdotes, keep them coming:)

asaaan said...

I think the bf was you.I gave birth four times, that makes me 500 yrs old!!

whatsinaname said...

ROFL :)
awesome post! As for the guess, well the girl could very well have been me too! Let me try to recollect :P

Shobana said...

I guess you were the girl?

GettingThereNow said...

I have elephantine memory, a tortoise's speed, a crocodile's skin, a neanderthal's brain and a human heart - combine all ages and you get 573 :D And I am no friend of yours ;)

I think the girl was you. If not - the best friend was you.

Mona said...

you were the girl, obviously!

PG said...

Too funny! A lovely anecdote. One of the girls were you :D

PG said...

you 've been tagged! Pick it up at:
http://gargpi.blogspot.com/2008/09/quirky-me-tag.html

:)

choxbox said...

LOL!
can't exams be banned?

Girl Next Door (gnd) said...

With such exemptions from the award, you might have as well made it a $500,000 award :)
You're only a few days younger than I am, so it can't be you... Cos, we're in our early-twenties now (Ahem...), so you couldn't have been Five half a century ago :P
So, I give up...

Girl Next Door (gnd) said...

I meant 1/4 of a century ago ;)

dipali said...

One of 'em was you. I think you were the original girl:)

Shilpa said...

I think the girl was you...

Mama - Mia said...

awesome awesome post!! :)

its amazing we grow up to write blogs now!! hehe!!

brilliant!!

cheers!

abha

ps: i dont feel so bad about 7/100 i scored on a maths test now!! :p

rayshma said...

so many exemptions for 5 bucks! :D
i think i'm exempt.. so i shall wait till u answer! :P

Maggie said...

Answer please!

DotThoughts said...

ALL: Yes, yes, yes. I got a zero on the test. sigh. But I am good at community living now :)

Thanks all for indulging me in my silly game :) and gnd you are right, the award shuld have been for $500,000 lol.